(pictures: Boden says "Look, I can sit up all by myself, now!")
At Boden's check-up on Monday, Dr. L asked about Boden's eating habits. When I mentioned that he gets up 3 times a night to eat, he suggested we put an end to that really soon. I, of course, began to tear up and said "he'll cry". Dr. L said "yes, he will." I said "That's really hard to listen to". Dr. L said "Yes, it is.". He went on to validate my feelings, and said that it will get more difficult to "train" Boden to sleep through the night if we wait longer...not to mention, how hard it must be for me to continue this schedule and work outside of the home. I felt like he was understanding, was trying to help, and acknowledged that getting your kid to sleep through the night is not pain free--he said I didn't have to do it right now and that Boden might get rid of one of the feedings on his own...but I'd probably have to help him the rest of the way.
Since Boden has been only eating 12 oz now during the day (down from 15-18), I was becoming even more reluctant to put an end to our middle of the night get-togethers. However, I decided Friday was the night to start...then I crumbled :) Turns out, Friday was not the night to start. Then, I decided Saturday was the night to start. I armed myself with my Sleep Lady book--read the whole chapter on 6-9 month olds and how to help them with their sleep issues--told Todd he needed to be supportive and we decided the "easiest" feeding to start with would be the midnight feeding. After I nursed Boden at 9, I went to bed crying thinking about how upset he was going to get later; but I vowed not to nurse him again until at least 3 am. He's gone 6 hours without eating before (usually during the day), so he could make it.
At 12:30 we heard Boden's initial rumblings and a couple shout-outs that got louder like "Moooom, can't you hear me?!". I went to him (the goal was to NOT pick him up unless he needed a diaper change or he had scooted himself into some strange position in the crib) and put Monkey back in his arms...he had initially stopped crying and, then, upon realizing I wasn't picking him up, began flailing his arms and legs and really bellaring. It was awful--I went to bed and cried and Boden cried intermittently but never too ferociously for about an hour. I checked on him a few times, but my check-ins seemed to make it worse...for both of us. He went back to sleep eventually until 3:45 (later than we had anticipated!). I nursed him--he acted as if he hadn't eaten in days; we went back to sleep and he didn't get up again until 6:45--and he didn't want to eat.
It seems completely unnatural to me not to nurse him when he is clearly hungry or at least to hold him when he is crying and calling out. I doubt mamma mammals in the wild are denying their little ones nighttime nourishment just so they can get some sleep. In between checking on Boden, I felt terrible...nauseous, head-achy and incredibly sad. I'm sure we'll repeat the whole thing again tonight--Boden has barely nursed today...probably planning to pack it in this evening and thinking that last night was just a fluke.
Now that I've started the process, though, there's no going back...the light at the end of the tunnel is at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
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