Last week was my first week back at work and Boden's first week with a lot of bottles and a lot less mommy. He seemed to do okay--the repercussion I experienced is that he sometimes doesn't want to nurse while I'm home and is, on occasion, preferring the bottle. While this allows some freedom for me, I suppose, and will give Todd the opportunity to participate in bedtime (which he's so excited about), that transition was/is a little quick for me. I balk at change. Change makes me sweat, makes me flustered and downright irritable (for real). There's nothing that makes me a happier than sticking to a plan. I love routine, thrive on it, in fact. Anyway, the thought of changing my evening routine with Boden when everything else is changing (work, time change, home routine...EVERY thing) makes me a wee bit sad. Like the wheels are falling off my cart and we're careening towards disaster. I just want Boden to hold on to this one bit of routine leftover from our months of together time for a little bit longer to help me through it...then I start to think, this is how parents mess up their kids. If he's ready for change, I should support and coach him.
Which brings me to our newest venture in sleep coaching. After a full week of getting very little sleep and having to try to function at work by using my brain for more demanding tasks than reading "Guess How Much I Love You", I realized that I needed to get a hold of this currently Boden-directed sleep schedule (or lack of) that we've been keeping. What "method" to use, though? It became clear to me that Boden is not just going to slip effortlessly into a healthy sleep schedule...he's been running on less than the minimum number of hours of sleep for infants his age for over a month. I thought he would crash one day and just figure it out...not happening.
So, after showing up for the 4th day in a row with large handbags under my eyes, a friend of mine handed me a book on gently guiding your infant into better sleeping habits. Hallelujah, right? Turns out "gentle guidance" still involves some tears which I had hoped to avoid, but it's been helpful, thus far. The goal is to teach Boden that he can soothe himself to sleep (duh) versus needing to be nursed, rocked, swayed, sh-sh'd (all at once) with white noise and lullabies in the background. Yes, bedtime had become a veritable circus act of mommy and daddy putting on side-show acts to "help" him get to sleep. Turns out our "helping" was likely leading him down a long path of many sleepless nights to come--flash forward to Boden at 30 years old needing warm milk before bed heated up to just the right temp, a phone call with his mother just to say goodnight (not that I would mind that), and a litany of quirky routines all required so he could fall asleep...all because I didn't help him learn how to soothe himself to sleep as an infant! I don't want that on my shoulders.
S0, last night was the first night of trying some of the "techniques" and there were tears but not for as long as I anticipated and Boden did figure out he knew how to help himself get to sleep. Soothing himself at this point involves a lot of sucking--on his blanket and his lovey. While this might sound like an opportune time to re-introduce the pacifier, I did and he still repels it. It makes him downright angry--instead of just casually spitting it out now, he flings it..."enough with that damn pacifier, mom--I DON'T WANT IT!". Got it. But, he has a little monkey-lovey in his bed and he sucks all over it and rolls around with it--it's pretty funny and so adorable. I wanted to get a picture of him asleep clutching onto the monkey with his arm wrapped around it and his mouth rubbing up against its ear but I thought a flash might disturb him and I wasn't willing to test how soundly he was sleeping.
Now, we will try to tackle nap time...30 minute cat naps aren't helping Boden or any of his caregivers. Especially since it seems to take at least 30 minutes to get him to nap in the first place. The Sleep Lady has some advice about this, too--again, not a tear free situation, but the prize at the end is a happier, well rested baby and at least an hour of "free" time while he naps. Here goes...
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